Emma’s Song

Let me tell you why I wrote Emma’s Song.

In 1990, when I was expecting my 10th child, Matthew James, I was asked by our stake Relief Society President to write a vignette of the first Relief Society to be performed at the stake Relief Society Conference.  She gave me a copy of minutes of that first meeting and I was impressed with many of the statements made by the sisters.  I did my best to put together a vignette worthy of that historic gathering where the key was turned for the sisters of the church.

The Vignette was generally well received. However, a member of the stake presidency approached me afterward and asked me why I had not included Emma Smith in the play.  Emma was  the wife of the prophet Joseph Smith and first president of the Relief Society.  I told him I had not found any lines from her in the minutes that were comparable to the ones I had chosen to share.  I did not tell him I was not happy with Emma, whose legacy for her children had to me been disappointing. Unlike her sister-in-law, Mary Fielding Smith, Emma had not followed the prophet Brigham Young to Utah, nor raised her children in the church, but had married a non-member and supported those who established The Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints with her son at the head. I found the legacy unacceptable.

This was in the spring of 1990.  In the summer I give birth to my son, Matthew James.  He died 5 days later and I was given just a glimpse into the pain and suffering that had characterized much of Emma’s life.  She had not only lost children in death, but had seen her husband tarred and feathered, and persecuted by those who had once been his friends.  She had seen him take on other women as wives in plural marriage, and had heard Brigham Young, the new prophet of the church, cast disparaging comments on her.  She had stayed behind the saints as they migrated west under Brigham Young’s banner.  She had lingered in Nauvoo to take care of an ailing mother-in-law and to pick up the pieces of her life after her husband’s martyrdom.  The crosses she had been given to bear were heavier by far than anything that I had ever borne, and I began to think that perhaps I had judged a woman whom I knew nothing about unwisely and unrighteously.

Several years passed and I met a relative of the Hales, a descendent of the family of Hales of which Emma was a member.  This woman, Rada Matthews, was very proud of Emma.  Rada radiated a light and a love for all people. She was especially kind to me.  I wondered if Emma had been like Rada as she had ministered to the new converts as they came to the Nauvoo House.  Certainly there was something redeeming about Emma that had drawn the young prophet Joseph Smith to take her for his bride.  Stories were told that on her death bed she had reached up her hand and cried, “Joseph, Joseph.” Was there hope for Emma? Had Joseph come  to welcome her into eternity?

I decided I needed to revisit Emma, not in a play, but in a poem, not in a spirit of judgment, but in a spirit of reconciliation.  I would put it to the words of a hymn because she had put together a book of hymns. I would use the hymn, “We Ever Pray for Thee, our Prophet Dear,” as they music behind the lyrics, and I would pray for me, to be forgiven for judging unrighteously, and for Emma, that the Lord would look with mercy upon her.  This is the poem: It is to be sung as a duet between Emma Smith and Jesus Christ.

Emma Smith:   When in the realms above prayers enter in,
My prayers are filled with love for mercies given.
In humble penitence I seek thy throne
Where wisdom meted out trials foreknown.

O’er me a family, sun, moon, and stars
Beacons me home to them through din of wars.
Round me a shroud appears covered in gray,
Then comes a voice of peace ,

Jesus Christ: “Be not afraid.
My love shall carry thee through stormy blasts,
Borne as on eagle’s wings till night is passed.
Homeward thy spirit comes out of the clouds
With songs like lightening broken and bowed.

Tears like torrential rains stain thy poor face,
As one so meek and low bows in disgrace.
For a small moment sin weighs like a stone
As at the judgment seat all is made known.

None knows what lies within, no man can judge
Save one who knows thy heart, who’s kept in touch
I thine afflictions saw, thy sorrows bore,
Hear what I say to thee, ‘Go sin no more.’

Hilltops may be removed, mountains depart
My covenants made with thee shall peace impart
Though comforts flee away, youthful dreams die,
Hope hovers over thee, I hear thy cry.

Patience possess thy soul, all is not lost
Thy heart shall yet be calm though tempest tossed.
All of thy children shall be taught of me
Angels shall preach to them, Truth set them free.”

Emma Smith: Oh, Lord, who lends me life, lend me a heart,
Replete with thankfulness like David’s harp.
My soul ascends to thee on wings of Grace
As I from bended knees seek thine embrace.

No grief hangs over me thou hast not known.
No sin that grappled me left unatoned.
As thou hast been to me healer and friend,
My tongue shall honor Thee worlds without end.

After Matthew died, the Lord, in mercy, sent two  more children, Jessica Ruth and Nathaniel Andrus. With the birth of these children, I experienced the healing that comes from the power of the atonement to forgive sins. Though their names are not engraved on Matthew's headstone, they are engraved on my heart.  Emma's song is my song.  It is a mother's song for her children, that the power of the atonement will reach out and bless them wherever they are.