The Monster and the Potato Heads

Mr. and Mrs. Potato head set out upon a lake.
They took a ham, a jar of jam and lots of wedding cake,
and oars, of course, for shoving off, and keeping them awake.

Mr. Potato Head, the groom, addressed his brand new wife,
“My Dear Charisse, let’s live in peace,  without an ounce of strife.”
He said no more for just off shore he saw to his surprise,
a giant monster’s head  arise, a head with yellow flaming eyes.
The monster’s nose was blowing smoke.  It seemed he was on fire.

Mrs. Potato head leaned out and sweetly did inquire, “Kind sir, I wonder if you can,
please use your nose to smoke our ham?” The monster grinned a frightful grin, then said,
“Good morning, Ma’am.”A slice of ham all smoked with jam would do us all some good.”
He swam up close beside the boat and there that monster stood.

His yellow eyes began to shift, but no one seemed to catch the drift.
They tucked a napkin in his chin,  gave him a fork and knife,
He smoked the ham, then gulped the man. He also ate his wife.
He ate the ham, the wedding cake, the candles and the wedding plate.

The plate did not go down so well.  His tummy started to rebel.
Something was going on inside, something that could not be denied.
The monster then became aware his lunch was coming up the stairs,
was coming up, not going down. The monster’s grin turned to a frown.
Yes! he was frightfully aware that lunch was coming up for air.
He felt it rising up and up.  He tried to gulp, but had no luck.

He did not care for things that spew that keep on gushing out of you
and so he did what he must do. He did not scream.  He did not shout.
Instead he sneezed.  Then from his snout, his luckless lunch came gushing out.
It came in one great huge,  “KERCHOO!”
The man, the cake, the ham, the plate the wife and yes, the candles too
came flying out in one great sneeze.

The monster then said, “If you please,
I offer my apologies. I’d like to start this scene anew.  What I just did I would undo.
Let’s start again. Let’s see if I, can be a little nicer guy. I’ll start out with a wedding song.
While you two eat, I’ll right my wrong. I’ll make a breeze, blow you along.”

And so he sang and then he blew until their home came into view.
He kissed those two Potato Heads, upon their lumpy, bumpy heads
and tucked them snugly in their beds
Then to his lair that monster went to dream about this strange event.

We make mistakes, we make amends and that is how this story ends.